Stories for Really Smart Kids

 It’s a good thing you’re reading this book. Because if you don’t read this book all the way through to the end, your head might fall off. Which is exactly what happened to Vincent Newman. Vincent said, “No way. I’m not gonna read that book,” and then… PLOP! His head fell off and rolled into a field, where some dogs played soccer with it. The final score was Bulldogs 7, Mutts 5.  Close game. Too bad Vincent didn’t really get to see it.  When Jessica Phillips ignored this book, her ears turned into antlers. It was all pretty shocking, especially when her family started hanging their coats on Jessica. Miss Joy, one of the best librarians anywhere, recommended this book to Danny Valenti. But he turned it down. Within minutes, his rear end grew to the size of an elephant’s—which made it very hard for him to lie on his bed without his trunk hitting the ceiling. (Oh yes, he had also grown a trunk.) Rachel Brown thought about reading this book, but she decided she didn’t like its cover. Now t

 “Daddy,” eight-year-old Ellen said. “Would you please drive me to Tracy’s house?” “One minute,” her father said, barely looking up from his handheld device. “I just have to send this text.” Ellen sat down to read a book. She didn’t mean to read the whole book while sitting there, but she had the time—because her dad didn’t send one text, he sent, and received, dozens. Ellen put the book down. She again asked: “Daddy, would you please drive me to Tracy’s house?” “One minute,” her father said, barely looking up from his tablet. “I just have to download these files.” Ellen sat down to read another book. She didn’t mean to read the whole book while sitting there, but she had the time—because her dad didn’t download one file, he downloaded, and sent, dozens. Ellen put the book down. She again asked: “Daddy, would you please drive me to Tracy’s house?” “One minute,” her father said, barely looking up from his laptop. “I just have to send this email.” Ellen sat down to read another book. She